I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
