he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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