I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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