I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize