i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
