margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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