girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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