apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
