The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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