pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
