What did we do last night that was yellow?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
