so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I want is dick and wine.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
