I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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