I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
