Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
