so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
