wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
