I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize