Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
