apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
