Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
