How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
