drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
