weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
