I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
