I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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