Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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