i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
false alarm, still single
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
