His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize