hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
