Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
