she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
