I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
