I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
