nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
