girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
