I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So much Jack, so little girl.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize