Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
