I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
