White coat. Heels.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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