Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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