hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
