so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
