how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
