I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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