So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
