if only i could text you this smell
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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