I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
