My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
