So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
