Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
