everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
