Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
4 words: hood of his car
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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