some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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