she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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