Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
