things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
