Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize