He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
