gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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