I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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