Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
